Lent 2009

This isn't my first Lent here in Singapore but for the life of me, I can't seem to remember what I did last year.

Anyway, Lent this year was in a word, exhausting. I attended (long, make that very long) services I never did back home. Back then, Lent especially the days of Good Friday and Black Saturday were just spent at home. I just went out of the house to attend the Good Friday procession. Of course, since the malls were closed, home and church seemed to be the only options.

Here in Sg, they have services and masses I don't think we had back home. Or maybe we had but I never did care to find out. I just went for the procession and figured that, that was my share in Christ's passion.

I wish I could say that this Lent season brought out a new enlightened me, but I feel the same as before. Sort of like waiting for the Christmas spirit to take hold of you and it never does. There was no eureka moment leading to some sort of spiritual rebirth. I went through the motions but I couldn't seem to really get into it.

It got me to wondering why its easier to be happy or spiritual back home. It's so much harder, for lack of a better term, to "get into the mood" here. I just seem to be better in touch with myself back home.

I know that one doesn't fail Lent, but I feel like I let an opportunity pass me by. A chance to reconnect with our Father. A chance to make peace and re-establish the relationship I've taken for granted these past weeks. It was the perfect opportunity to reflect and ponder and start over. But I didn't.

But Easter is all about beginnings. And I know that God is just waiting for me do what I failed to do. Because He is always faithful. Because He is always forgiving. Because He never gives up on us, on me. I just have to always try and believe in Him and His faithfulness. He will take me back.