The Choices We Make

Sometimes I think life will be easier if we did not have choices or if choices were made for us. Boring but definitely easier. And it makes for less regrets for mistakes too because well, you had no choice. There was no Plan B, only Plan A.

I recently had to make a difficult decision. And the pressure that one person was giving me definitely made it harder. It's hard to enough to make a choice without an hours-away deadline looming at you.

I was in this spot before, but then, the choice was made for me. Walang kahirap-hirap. There was no other alternative but what was in front of me so go na ako. But this time was different. I had other alternatives. Alternatives that I preferred but were not sure yet. And now comes this sure thing, this now thing. But I did not really want it. I had too many reservations about it. It was the logical and practical choice to make pero why was I so broken up about it.

A clear case of my head and my heart warring over which one should be followed. My head was shouting go for it. Baka maghintay ka sa wala, but my heart just couldn't go down that path. For reasons I can't even clearly define. I justified not picking the logical choice but they sounded so lame even to me.

I consulted my friends and they had different opinions about it. More confusion to the mix. But one thing one of my friends said stuck. She said, "They both sound good to me. Just pick one and don't look back."

And there the crux of my dilemma was resolved. I felt like a bad person for not picking the first option. Like it was so unreasonable of me to give it up when it was a blessing right there for the taking. I felt so ungrateful for not liking it.

But I realized that I don't have to feel guilty. This time the choice was up to me and I choose to follow my heart. I felt at peace after I made my decision and my head followed suit. I did not look back. Ok fine, I did indulge in a few "what ifs" after but the deed was done. I don't regret what I did even if the other alternatives turn out to be duds. Pero sana naman hindi. :D

Now I wonder if that crossroad in my life was a major one. If my life would have turned out majorly different if I went down that path instead of this one now. But I take comfort that God only has my best interests at heart. And that life always has a way of working itself out. No matter what the choices we make.